the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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