you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
