ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
