Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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