So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
