Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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