I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
