Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
