Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize