Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
