that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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