I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
