he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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