oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
