So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
