he thought i was a dude.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is Oprah even human
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
