Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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