Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
