I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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