It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize