Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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