I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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