i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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