i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
