my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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