So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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