So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize