Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
