Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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