Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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