Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
