Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Another day, another engagement, another cat
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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