6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
