just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
