He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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