he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The air was thick with penises
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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