i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
