Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
