so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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