Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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