Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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