is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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