You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
