it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
