i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
