I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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