Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
