i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize