How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
