i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
