I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
