After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
