Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
