Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
did you just send me my own nude
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
