I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
