Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
