my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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