I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize