what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
