I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
