OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
