SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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