i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
