Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
