you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
