So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
